How Not To Be Bitter When A Friendship Goes Sour Or South

Keep Your Life In Check When You Get Hurt By A Pal

Herbie J Pilato
6 min readJan 16, 2020

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We all become disappointed when a friendship ends, particularly when it is a life-long friendship that abruptly ceases over a careless remark or a thoughtless act in an unguarded or indiscreet moment. Sometimes a friendship halts because like a piece of fruit, there’s only so much juice left in it before it dries out — and it just may simply be time to move on. In yet other instances, a friendship may transition to unplanned closure due to selfish or selfless reasons, by mistake or by design, or just because, as some things are just meant to be or not to be.

However it transpires, don’t let the failure or finality of a friendship eat you up as if you indeed were that piece of dried-up fruit. You simply can’t do that to yourself. It serves no purpose. It does nothing for you. It’s detrimental to your health in every which way, be it mental, psychological, emotional, physical, and sometimes even financial. That’s right, losing a friend can sometimes make you poor — because your weak and poor-in-spirit soul can become so distracted by the disheartened relationship that it starts to affect your work in unproductive ways.

And what happens after that? You’ll lose your job and subsequently end up in what my father used to call the poor house.

And why was that? Because you were so attached to the loss of a friendship that ultimately you were unable to see the forest through the trees and accept the end of a friendship, a development that ultimately may have worked in your favor before you turned it into an unealthy-living hazard.

That’s exactly how you have to look at things. Whether it’s the end of a friendship or a job, the healthiest approach or reaction to either development is of the carefree or “let-it-go” nature. I know that’s not always the easiest path to follow, especially when you’re in pain and reeling from a loss. But the alternate choices lead to nowhere productive.

You can worry yourself sick and poor if you let a friendship’s end close the book on your life. Really. Losing one person is not worth losing yourself in the process. And if you are that overtly affected by the loss of a friendship, then you have to…

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Herbie J Pilato

Herbie J Pilato is a writer, producer, and TV personality whose books about life and pop culture include THE 12 BEST SECRETS OF CHRISTMAS.