The Selfish, the Greedy, the Self-Absorbed, etc.
Toxic individuals need to be avoided and/or divorced from at all costs.
Here’s some very unattractive traits to look for, and to stay away from, even if the individual appears to be attractive on the outside (and even though, of course, we should never judge a book by its cover anyway):
- Not being happy for other people
- Not helping other people succeed
- Overt sarcasm
- Mean-spirited behavior
- Being hygienically-challenged
- Talking too much about oneself
- Never picking up the tab, due to false self-entitlement.
That latter unattractive trait is a tough one, especially during these challenging financial times. But overall, buying lunches and dinners and drinks and picking up the tab for other people is a very generous act — and should be commended, appreciated and executed.
However, if it’s done all the time, with a need to control, and to the point of making other people feeling inferior, well — that ain’t right. And the person to be kind is defeated
The Mature, Non-Toxic Individual
The truth of the matter is this:
Mature people realize and understand that not everyone gets along with everybody else 24 hours a day. It’s just not possible or logically allowed in the realm of realistic acceptance and living.
And ultimately we all need to cut each other some slack, and be a little bit more mature and understanding, particularly when it comes to close, personal relationships, whether they be platonic or romantic, or professional partnerships.
My parents, God bless them, had disagreements every day. But I can think of two other people who loved each other more. They were committed to one another. They cut each other some slack on a daily basis because they knew that we are all only human. They also happened to love each other not for what they could do or buy for one another, but just because they loved one another, period.
That said, if you are in a physically, emotionally, psychologically, or financially abusive relationship, then get out of it. But if you are simply experiencing regular disagreements with those you love, and those disagreements are not abusive, then chill.
Disagreements are part of life, and as long as they are handled with dignity and respect for all concerned, it’s all good.
Peace, Compromise, and Kindness
In all, let today represent your last battlefield.
In the name of peace, compromise, and kindness, and for your health, and the health of the collective world, it’s important to understand that there is a healthy, non-toxic way to disagree.
“To agree to disagree,” is a familiar phrase that is frequently referenced in such instances.
And here’s another one: “Teach by example.”
Or this: “BE the peace you seek.”
In other words, let your sweet disposition be a model for all of human-“kind” — and humanity (“human”+”unity”).
When people see you, let them think and say to themselves:
“Now, THERE’s a beautiful, loving-kind human being who only has nothing but nice things to say, and always behaves in the most respectful way; with so much elegance and grace. They are so enjoyable. I want to be around that ‘kind’ of person all the time. I want to BE that ‘kind’ of person. What an outstanding individual.”
Yeah — give people a reason to talk about you in that GOOD way.
And let’s choose not to embarrass others in any way.
Instead, let’s always choose to contribute to their self-esteem.
Here’s some solid key phrases to utilize in our interactions with others that might help us along the way to do just that:
- “I respect your differences.”
- “I respect your similarities.”
- “I respect your unique abilities.”
- “I respect your talent.”
- “I respect your genius.”
- “I respect your life and career choices.”
- “I respect your political decisions.”
- “I respect your religious/spiritual perspectives.”
- “I respect your personal opinions.”
- “I R.E.S.P.E.C.T. You.”
The main key word, obviously being “respect.”
Look — it’s okay to be disappointed in others, and certainly in ourselves.
But the truth is, when it comes to others, they were most likely disappointed in us, first. And that’s okay, too.
And you know why?
Because nobody’s perfect.
So, yeah — pick up the tab every once in a while, even if the other person has more money than you do — and especially if the other person doesn’t have as much money as you do.
Otherwise, you may indeed become the very toxic-type of individual that you are seeking to avoid — and that others will want to avoid at ALL costs.